Professional Women

I spoke at the Professional Assistants' Day conference in Alexandria the other day. There were 175 women in the audience. If ignited, the amount of estrogen in that room could have blown up the Mall of America.

Women's programs are the most fun for me to do. They get my jokes, they do my improv exercises, they buy my products...and I get paid. But the best part is that these women know how to have a good time. I overheard one audience member say, "My boss paid for me to be here so I'm going to have a good time." I wanted to hire her to be a professional audience member. I just kissed her and left it at that.

I lead an improv exercise around the concept of "Yes...And!" Which teaches the principle of agreement. The groups were to come up with a made-up product and then build on it. There were to be no bad ideas.

The"Boob Holder Upper" was by far the winner. This contraption made the Victoria Secret Miracle Bra look like something from Toys R Us. (My computer doesn't make backwards R's--get over it.) The woman who shard the group's invention could have done an infomercial that would rival The Magic Bullet. She's probably been scooped up by the State Fair by now and is no longer a professional assistant.

The "Boob Holder Upper" led me into my joke about aging and how eventually we will be able to do a breast exam with our toes. There were several older women in the front of the audience who didn't laugh; they had been doing that for years. Note to Self: Know your audience.

The great thing about this organization was that it was made up of a group of women who had the word "professional" before their title. You don't see a lot of professions like that, do you?
Professional President of the United States? Professional Pope? Professional lawyer? Nope.
These women knew they were professionals and didn't have to prove it to each other. They were there not only to learn, but to have fun!

God bless women and their capacity for connection and humor. And God bless that group who came up the with the "Boob Holder Upper." I'm going to have it patented and then hire the woman from my audience to do the infomercials.

After all, she's a professional.